Articles in Category: Sexist, & Funny

The Perfect Woman Will Cost You An Arm & A Leg

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

"I don't have anyone to talk to," Adam replied.

"I'll make you a companion," God said, "And she will be called 'woman."

"She will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you... "

Celibate By Choice? Or By Circumstance?

celibate_by_choice-or_by_circumstance.jpgCelibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, My wife and I, listened to the instructor declare,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.."
He then addressed the men,

'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered,

Repeat After Me: Aisle, Altar, Hymn.

Susan notes: this is definitely humour more relevant to the Christian ritual associated with marriage - I wonder if there are similar traditions in other religions.... :P

down_the_aisle.jpgThrough the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:
Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged?
Finally, the riddle is solved.
A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn.

Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain absorbs these three stimuli:
Aisle, altar, and hymn.

How A Man Gets To The Top (Feminist Style)

Susan notes: my kind of tongue-in-cheek sexist joke!

barack-michelle-obama.jpgOne night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

When she came back to the table following the conversation, the President asked:

"What was that all about? Why was he was so interested in talking to you?"

The First Lady answered candidly:

"We dated for a while when I was a teenager. He was madly in love with me...."

The iGift That Missed The iMark

the-igift-that-missed-the-imark.jpgIt all began with an iPhone...

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and

I  got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who  wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very  happy when she bought me an iPad.

My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her  birthday in September so I got her an iRon.