Articles in Category: Sexist, & Funny

Gender-Specific Evening Classes That Will Endear You To Your Other Half


(These ones for MEN ONLY: Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of the content, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.)

Topic 1.    How to fill ice-cube trays.
                Step by step with slide presentation.
Topic 2.    Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
                 Round-table discussion.
Topic 3.     Differences between the laundry basket and the floor.
                 Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 4.     Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right
                 Place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
                 Open forum.
Topic 5.     Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
                 Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 6.     Real men ask for directions when lost.
                 Real-life testimonials.
Topic 7.     Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
                 Driving simulation.
Topic 8.   Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
                Online class and role playing.
Topic 9.   How to be the ideal shopping companion.
               Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 10.   How to fight cerebral atrophy: remember birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and call                   when you're going to be late.
                 Cerebral shock therapy sessions

(These ones for WOMEN ONLY:)

Software Problem: Upgrade To Husband 1.0 From Boyfriend 5.0 FAIL

lazy-husband.jpgINSTALLING HUSBAND !
A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?


_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______

___ _______

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thoughtyoulovedme. HTML and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT  in  any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software
To improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

New Pinch-Proof Pink Car For Women Only

pink_car.jpgRenault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.

It's exactly the kind of thing we've awaited for so long: cute, compact, easy to handle and loaded with great features.

As the new vehicle is a cross between a Clio and a Taurus, they’ve decided to call it the "Clitaurus." 

It comes in pink, and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Thanks to:
Susan Kinnon
Edmonton, Alberta

All In A Day's Work

man-doing-housework.jpgA man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.