The local new station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married – for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband’s occupation.
“He’s a funeral director” she answered.
“Interesting,” the newsman thought.
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE? THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife:
“From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house ?and my word is Law.. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After ?dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex ?that I want.
“Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You ?will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will ?massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me ?and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee , read free paper.
3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change: $40.00
Coffee: $2.00
Total: $42.00
Watch what you wish for !!!
A series of of Goldstar beer ads in which one thing leads to another....