6 Subtle Ways to Make Your Wedding More Feminist
When planning your wedding, you really want to make the entire event a reflection of who you are, and who you are as a couple. So if you are a feminist or you simply enjoy infusing everything that you do with a powerful feminine energy, you likely want to add a little bit of a feminist touch to your special day, too.
Thankfully, there are plenty of easy-to-implement, subtle ways to do just that. So continue reading to learn about a few of the best ways that you can make your wedding (assuming it's not a same-sex marriage) more feminist and experience a day that you and your guests will never forget.
1) Read Your Vows Before the Groom
The bride usually reads her vows after the groom, but to make your wedding a little more feminist, you can read your vows first. This will undo a bit of the patriarchal vibe that is found throughout most traditional weddings, and it allows the woman to go first for a change.
Whether you choose to write your own vows or allow your officiant or priest to write the vows for you, opting to go first will make you feel and appear more powerful while changing the way your wedding flows.
2) Don’t Be “Given Away” by Your Father
Traditionally, a bride is “given away” by her father, and then given to her groom. But you are not property, and you should not be treated as such or referred to as such. Therefore, while you may still want your father to walk you down the aisle, you should not have this action referred to as “giving you away” at all.
Instead, in your wedding program for your guests, for example, you can simply state that your father will be walking you down the aisle. Don’t make mention of any traditional elements that would otherwise make it seem like he owned you and that you were now going to be owned by your groom.
3) Choose Your Wedding Party Based on Personalities, Not Gender
While you would traditionally choose your wedding party based on their gender, with only women on the bride’s side and men on the groom’s side, you can undo this tradition, too, by simply choosing your wedding party based on personalities and relationships instead.
So, for example, if your best friend happens to be a man, you should ask him to act as the traditional maid of honor, rather than feeling like you have to be forced to choose a woman to fill that role. And, in the same way, if your groom has a close relationship with a female friend or relative, he should be able to let her be on his side of the wedding party where she is more likely to feel more comfortable and at ease, especially if she does not know you or your bridal party very well.
4) Don’t Be Introduced as Mr. and Mrs.
Rather than taking on your husband’s name, keep your own. And when you are introduced while making your wedding celebration banquet memories, make sure that you are introduced by your full name, rather than as Mr. and Mrs.
5) Pay Attention to the Language Used Throughout the Wedding
From your wedding vows, to what the officiant will say throughout the ceremony, you need to keep a close eye on the language that is used if you want to infuse your event with a little bit of feminism. Therefore, make it a point to ask your officiant for a copy of everything that he or she plans on saying during the ceremony.
Make adjustments wherever you notice any language that makes you feel or appear inferior to your spouse. Do the same with your wedding vows if you are not writing your own. Do not be afraid to change the language as you see fit, regardless of who is officiating your ceremony.
6) Don’t Feel Like You Have to Wear White
Finally, if you want to wear a traditional white wedding gown, go for it. But if you do not want to wear white because it traditionally symbolizes the virginity of the bride who is given away by her father to her new husband, you can certainly wear any color dress that you prefer instead.
As you can see, there are plenty of subtle yet effective ways to infuse feminism throughout your wedding ceremony and reception. Remember that you are in complete control over your special day, so you should never feel intimidated or afraid to change things up and go against tradition.
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