5 Hints To Recreate Your Life After 45
Guest blog post by Judith Glynn
Birthdays after 45 can trigger the "what if" question. Could past choices have been different?
Or did you have it all and now face a challenging future with less?
Are you a bore, talking about what you used to do?
With half your life gone, it's time to kick start who you want to be in middle-age. It’s doable because I did it. And change is a hoot if well done.
1. Take Stock
Start off with tapping into your personal truth. We all have one. List attributes first and not-so-good strengths last. Resist negative thoughts about what you've become or what you could have been. There’s a clean slate coming up. If you're fat, lose weight. If bad habits pull you down, get help if you can't stop alone. Accept where you are financially or get out of debt, dime by dime. Don't expect others to take care of you. The mantra is "never give up."
2. Become an Only Child
If you cater to others, stop. Time to become an only child. (If you are one, skip this part.) That doesn't mean being lonely, selfish or reclusive. It’s the opposite. I know because I am one. Most onlies are fiercely independent, resilient and trust their gut. We know ourselves. We're devoted friends, sensitive to others and listen because we didn't grow up needing to be heard. We love ourselves first, which makes it easy to love others. We don't need constant approval. We're fair and generous. We open our hearts and homes, but always retreat into ourselves. Thinking like an only child will turn you into your best friend.
3. No Toxic People
Wean yourself of negative people. They rarely offer constructive criticism. You don't have to like everyone. Seek out those who encourage dreams. If their life is inspiring, emulate their traits. Ask successful people how to change. Volunteer and give back. It feels good. If you're in a bad relationship, don’t stay. Break-ups are horrendous but they end whereas a bad relationship feeds upon itself.
4. Risk, Risk, Risk
Not much happens without risk. From sports to travel (please take one trip alone) to dance lessons, to continuing education, something out of your comfort level has to challenge you. Computer date, promising you'll have 50 cups of coffee before you give up. If you have money, buy investment property and learn small repairs. Move to a new destination for one year. Have an affair. It’s worth the delicious memory. Start a journal. If it doesn't lead to publishing, it will clear out brain cobwebs. Once you take a risk, the next ones become opportunities to know and love yourself better.
5. Get With It
It’s mind-boggling the number of middle-aged people still not proficient with most electronics. Don’t age yourself by fumbling with buttons. Keep current by enrolling in a class for beginners. Tune into pop culture. Dye your hair. Wear high leather boots, show some cleavage, throw away clunky jewelry and step out into a world where you no longer ask "what if." Then tell your envious friends how you did it.
Judith Glynn is a sassy, independent woman who lives an eclectic life. She's written countless travel articles over a 30-year span that began in newspapers. Today her articles appear on the Web. Glynn's books include A Collector of Affections: Tales from a Woman's Heart and The Street or Me: A New York Story, which chronicles her involvement with a NYC homeless woman whom she returned to her family in Italy.
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