Articles in Category: Just Plain Funny/Cute

OLD GIRLFRIENDS at the Ocean View

ladies-who-lunch.jpgA group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice bums.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Thanks to Steve Corkhill
AWR friend & fan
UK

A Farm Kid Joins the Marines

farmer.jpgDear Ma  and Pa, 

I am  well.  Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer  the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch  by a  mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are  filled. 

I was  restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6  a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late… Tell Walt and  Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and  shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash  to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically  nothing. 

Men got  to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast  is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,  etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried  eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer  you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.  Their food, plus yours,  holds you until  noon    when you  get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk  much. 

We go  on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long  walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it's not my place  to tell him different.  A "route march" is about as far  as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet  and we all ride back in trucks. 

The  sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.   The Captain is like the school board. Majors and  colonels just ride around and frown. 

They  don't bother you none.  

This  next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep  getting medals for shooting.   I don't know why.   The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and  don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys  at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable  and hit it.  You don't even load your own cartridges They  come in boxes…

Then we  have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You  get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real  careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting  with that ole bull at home.  I'm about the best they got  in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver    Lake.  I only beat him once...  He joined up the  same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's  6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. 

Be sure  to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers  get onto this setup and come stampeding  in.



Your  loving daughter, 

Alice

Thanks to:
AWR Friend & Fan Susan Kinnon
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada