Ultimate Survivor

The game many mothers play 24/7...


man-housework.jpgSix married men will be dropped on an island with one car and four kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his four kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, clean, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills without enough money. Each man will also have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Sometime during the six weeks each man must take each child for a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and/or a haircut.

He must make cookies or cupcakes for at least three social functions, host one birthday party and decorate his assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
Each household will have only one TV, to which the men will only have access when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. Each will be required to know the names of all the children's favourite TV shows and cartoon characters as well as  of the words to their favourite songs.

During one of the six weeks, they will have to endure one week of severe abdominal cramps and/or backache, coupled with extreme, unexplained mood swings. During that time, they must not complain or fail to complete any of their duties.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings, church, and spend one afternoon each week at the park or playground with the youngest children. Each night he will help all the children undress, bathe, brush their teeth, and say their prayers. He will read them all bedtime stories at least three times a week.

Each morning he will wake them and prepare breakfast. Five days a week he will also get them ready for school and prepare lunches. He will drive the children to their sporting and other extra-curricular acitivities and/or plan and execute things to keep them engaged and amused on evenings and weekends.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: Each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song,  favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after sick children (day and/or night), and nurse them until they are better.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and a magic marker, while getting a four-year-old to eat a serving of peas.

The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they will apply themselves either while driving or making four lunches. They must adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at least once a week at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 20 years...eventually earning the right to be called a Mother!