One Wife Who Cannot Tell A Lie

policeA  police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer  says,' I clocked you  at 80 miles per  hour, sir.'

The driver  says, 'Gee, officer, I  had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your  radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking  up from her knitting from where she sits in the passenger seat, his wife says: 'Now don't be  silly, dear --  you know that this car doesn't have cruise  control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket,  the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
 'Can't you  please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife  smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you  should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or  your speed would have been higher.'

As the  officer makes out the second  ticket for the illegal radar  detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through  clenched teeth,
'Woman,  can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The  officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing  your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75  fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it  on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so  that I could get my license out of my back  pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you  know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.  You never wear your seat belt when you're  driving.'

And as the police officer is  writing out the third  ticket, the driver turns to his wife and  barks,   'WILLYOU  PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The  officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to  you this way, Ma'am?'

(I  love this  part)
'Only  when he's been drinking …