Mammograaaahhhhm !!!

October is  Breast Cancer Month, during which we salute the millions of women worldwide who struggle through, suffer with, survive and/or succumb to this horrible disease...

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. Take a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam to do the following exercises, and you will be totally prepared for your mammography....

Best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home, with household items everyone has easily at hand.

EXERCISE 1:

Open your refrigerator door and insert your right breast. Shut the door as hard as possible, and lean on it for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Release. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective.

Repeat with the left breast.

EXERCISE 2:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is chilled. If you live in a warm weather climate, chill your garage with A/C on full blast.

Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with right breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.

Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.

Turn over and repeat with the left breast.

EXERCISE 3:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.

Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against your right breast.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.

Repeat with the left breast.

Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year, and do it again.

Do these exercises religiously for one week and you will fully prepared for your mammogram :)