Don't Mess With Mature Women

 

Susan notes: “mature” could apply to younger as well as older women. Although maturity often comes with age, it can also be found in those who are lean in years and long on experience.

A mature woman gets pulled over for speeding...

Mature Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Mature Woman: Oh, I see.

 

 

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
Mature Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
Mature Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Mature Woman: I can't do that.
Traffic Cop: Why not?
Mature Woman: I stole this car.
Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Mature Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Traffic Cop: You what!?
Mature Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk iif you want to see...

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Mature woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Mature Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please..

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Mature Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my colleague here that you didn't have a license,  that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Mature Woman: Bet the lying idiot told you I was speeding, too.