24 Silly Questions

please_don_t_pee_in_the_pool.jpg1.  Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece  on those little bottles of Evian  water? Try spelling Evian backwards :  NAIVE

2.  Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like  making a peeing section in a swimming pool?  (My  sentiments  exactly!)

3.   If the  Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the  'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known  as the 'Bucs,'  what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4.   If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from  diarrhea does  that mean that one enjoys  it?

5.   There are three religious truths:
       a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the  Messiah.
       b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the  Christian faith.
       c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

6.    If people from   Poland are  called Poles, why aren't people  from  Holland  called  Holes?

7.   If a pig loses its voice, is it  disgruntled?

8.    Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't  they just stale bread to begin  with?

9.   Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but  a person who drives a race car is not called a  racist?

10. Why  isn't the number 11 pronounced onety  one?

11.    If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,  doesn't it  follow that electricians can be  delighted, musicians denoted,  cowboys deranged,  models deposed, tree  surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners  depressed?

12.   If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed  UP?

13.    Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee  breaks?

14.    What hair color do they put on the driver's  licenses of  bald  men?

15.   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a  whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me  ... they're cramming for their final  exam.

16. I thought  about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little  spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers  use?   Toothpicks?

17.    Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post  Office? What are we supposed to do, write to  them? Why don't they  just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the  mailmen can look for them while they deliver the  mail?

18.   If it's true that we are here to help others, then what  exactly are the others here for?

19.    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21.   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22.   If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

23.   Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. At  income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the  two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it  spells    ... 'THEIRS'?

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