Cougars: Are We Predators? Or Just Playful Pussycats?
“What do you think of this ad from Air New Zealand?”
The question, and a YouTube link, came from my friend Bebhinn Kelly, Chief Fashionista at www.hellwafashion.com, and a regular supplier of juicy, thought-provoking and sometimes controversial material for AWR.
I clicked. I watched. I pondered. I considered blogging. I demurred.
Then I stumbled on similar stuff. Uh oh. Another Cougar Controversy. Time to take a second look, and put fingers to keyboard. Let’s begin with the video in question:
Before I go any further, there are a few pertinent facts that inform my view on this video:
- I was born on January 28, 1956. That means I “celebrated” my 56th in 2012.
- I am not yet dead, physically, mentally, emotionally OR sexually. On the contrary. I’m full of energy and enthusiasm for life, and all it has to offer. I am sensual, sexual and passionate (and not afraid to say so).
- Since becoming single again five years ago at the age of 49 (after a 20-year marriage that was for the most part wonderful), I have dated, off and on.
- Some of the men I’ve dated have been younger. Much younger. A couple of them were under 30. Does that make me a sexual predator? I don’t think so. (I've also dated men my own age as well as some who were older.)
I find it curious that “older” women who date younger men are characterized as desperate, predatory hunters who troll bars, pubs and clubs in search of hapless victims on which to prey. What a load of rubbish!
Who dreams up this stuff? Is it SO unbelievable that young men might find mature women attractive? Is it SO out of the question that a modern day urban myth springs up to explain the “aberration?”
Caught Dead With The Near Dead? No Way!
Ah yes, I hear the societal hue and cry now: “Surely not! No man in his right mind would want to be caught dead with a woman over 40!” The only possible explanation must be that he was chased, trapped, and seduced against his will by some old crone.
Well, I’m sorry to dispel the myth, entertaining though it may be, but I know from personal experience that some young men prefer “older” women – and THEY often pursue US, not vice versa.
This is not to say there aren’t “experienced” women who actively seek out younger men. (And some of them may actually even do so in bars God forbid!). But I don’t think there are more older women chasing younger men than there are older men chasing younger women, or people of all ages and descriptions chasing each other, for that matter.
No Pub Cubs Rubadubdub With Me :)
What I know for sure (with a nod to Oprah for coining the phrase), is that I didn’t meet any of my "cubs" in bars, clubs, or pubs. Yes, I go out – to concerts, plays, parties, movies, art galleries, etceteras. And yes, occasionally I go to clubs. And oh yes indeed, I've been known to dance and even to flirt (!) while I’m there. (As I said, I’m not dead yet.)
But have I “hunted” young men in bars? Nope. Not a single one. Neither did I pursue any of those whose company I had the pleasure of keeping over the last few years. Uh uh. In all but one case, they made the first move. As for the exception, I think he would agree that the attraction was mutual right from the start.
(It’s ironic, come to think of it. I met my ex-husband in a bar. He asked me to dance. I declined at first, but he convinced me. That particular dance lasted the better part of two decades, but that's another story.)
To be honest, I’m a bit unclear on what all of this older/younger dating to-do is about. I think consenting adults should be free to choose with whom they spend their time and share their love, regardless of age, race, religion, and/or nationality – AND they should be able to do so without being judged and/or made fun of by others.
The Bottom Line?
All of which brings me back to the video: Do I find it offensive? Mildly. Do I find it amusing? Somewhat. Am I “outraged,” as some are? Not really. Will I lose sleep over it? Nah.
But I did leave a tripartite comment on YouTube:
- What does this have to do with flying, Air New Zealand and/or seat sales?
- This is one cougar that has been pursued by so-called “prey,” not the other way around.
- Growl. Purrrrrrrr. Yawn. I think I’ll take a catnap. All that late-night prowling fueled on nothing but sparse vegetation means we cougars need extra beauty rest.
Meeooww.... Oh, and BTW, just for the fun of it: MUAH!