7 Good Reasons to Leave Bad Love Relationships
When I put out a call to friends, fans and followers on the Amazing Women Rock Facebook page, I'm often delighted with the response.
“I'm writing a blog on good reasons to leave bad love relationships,” I wrote this time. “Anyone have any useful thoughts on that?”
I combined fan wisdom and mine and came up with this list of seven solid reasons to get out when love goes bad:
1) Life is too short
This answer came up in comments again and again. We don't have long on this planet, and all of us face countless challenges, diversity, pain, and suffering. Life's too short to choose to add additional misery by staying in a bad relationship. Good relationships are the foundation for so many joys in life, observed AWR fan Jen Whitwell, why miss out on all that happiness?
2) You’re worth it
No one deserves to be abused, mistreated, and/or taken for granted. Each and every one of us deserves to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. We all should have the chance to have our needs met, whatever those needs might be. We're worth it. You're worth it.
3) Living in fear is SCARY
Sure, life can be scary from time to time and that’s okay. But a regular diet of fear causes your insides to curdle and your soul to shrivel. It’s more than just scary, it’s terrifying. Leave the terror and the terrorist behind!
4) Bad becomes the new “normal”
Bad relationships kill your self-esteem and your self worth slowly but surely. After awhile the ugliness starts to feel normal. When that happens it gets harder and harder to to break away. A bad relationship becomes like a bad habit – the more we do it, the harder it is to stop.
5) You lose you
The person who is the real you gets lost in a sea of uncertainty. Being in a bad relationship clouds your judgment. You may begin to question your abilities, wonder if you are loveable, take the blame for things that are not your fault. You just don't think straight!
6) It’s unhealthy to stay
Not only so you lose yourself, you hurt yourself! Bad relationships are toxic for mind, body and soul. They stunt your growth, hammer your self-esteem, create barriers to progress and inhibit your capacity to enjoy life's blessings. It's like drinking poison morning, noon, and night - it destroys your well being.
7) It’s empowering to go
Leave because no one is worth losing your soul and true self for. No man (or woman) can complete you. End a bad relationship so you can learn to love yourself, the world around you and your life's purpose. Don't be afraid to go; great things will happen when you believe in yourself and leave the negative behind. AWR fan Leesa Tea hit the nail on the head when she wrote:
“Even if you can't imagine a reality that is different than the one you have now, there is one. You will laugh again, have sex again and fall in love again, even if it doesn't feel possible right now. It is. You will.”
All of that said, Alexandra Karabash made this sensible, cautionary comment:
“People should leave bad relationships when they are ready. Often it's not as simple as just leaving, especially when abuse is involved, or when one party is financially dependent on the other.”
Abusive relationships are complex and good choices are sometimes hard to make. If you're in a bad relationship and feel it's time to leave (and safe to do so), make sure you have the emotional and financial support you need to make it work!
Susan Macaulay creates and curates Amazing Women Rock, SheQuotes and My Alzheimer’s Story. Her mother Patti was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2008; more on that story here. Susan is also going a little crazy.
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