5 Bullshit Rules We All Should Ignore
Guest blog post by Brenda Slavin.
Why do we hold ourselves hostage to rules that don’t really even exist? Day after day we play out conforming to rules that we ourselves have created which only hold us back.
Some of these “rules” have been instilled into us. Not only by our upbringing and influences, also by our society and the media. We follow them habitually never giving much thought to if they make sense to what is right for us as individuals.
Start paying attention to the bullshit rules you have been following in your life that hold you back from living an amazing and incredible life.
Here are some examples:
BS Rule #1: We should have a perfect body
Let’s start with the fact the human body is not perfect nor ever will it be, period! We have insurance companies telling us what our BMI should be, an abundant number of diets that advertise promising to make us skinny and sexy, and a scale that certainly doesn’t lie. Talk about pressure! No wonder most people feel defeated before they even start trying!
How about we break the rules of how we think we should look, how much we think we should weigh, and start focusing on just being healthy and feeling fantastic!
If you make the decision to go forth on a health journey vs. going on a diet, you will achieve an enormous number of positive outcomes. First and foremost you will become healthy from the inside out, which in turn increases your immune system and drastically reduces the risk of illness and disease. You notice your skin starts to radiate, your hair begins to shine, and wait what just happened? Why yes the weight you wanted to lose just started melting off and you never even felt like you gave up anything! As you incorporate more and more healthy foods into your diet, the less junk/unhealthy food your body will continue to crave.
Our bodies are in a constant state of detoxification as we add chemicals to it on a daily basis. Your body will thank and reward you well when you treat it like the temple that is designed to be.
BS Rule #2: You have to decide on your sole career by age 18, earn your degree, and then work hard the rest of your life to be successful; says who?
Are you ecstatic about your chosen career or job? Do you know many people who are? Why is that? Why is it so many people dedicate an abundant amount of time and education just to land a career or job they don’t even really like? At what point was the decision made for you to choose your career? Was it that it sounded like a good idea at the time? Were you influenced by family or friends who knew much better than you did about what was best for you? Now is it the continued convenient excuse you have been doing it for so long you have to settle for staying where you are vs. going after what you really want?
If you are not in a job or career that resonates with you completely, you are wasting your time and will remain in a state of unhappiness! We are the ones who choose our jobs and careers, so why not choose something that you love and get excited to wake up to every single day! Break this rule and the hell with who doesn’t agree; so what you’ve already done this job for the past x amount of years and don’t want to start over, and stop allowing the fear you won’t make enough money to hold you back.
People who have passion for their work NEVER fail. They give 100% consistently and place their happiness over and above anything else. You spend anywhere from 8-12+ hours a day at your job, think about how much time your life is exposed to despondency if you don’t love what you do!
BS Rule #3: Every relationship requires settling on mediocrity
So how is your relationship going? Is it everything you dreamed it would be, or is it exactly how people told you it would be? Here unfortunately is where we fall into mediocrity and complacency. We follow the rules along with everyone else and roll over to accepting that in relationships this is “just the way it is”.
Who is in charge of our relationships? WE ARE! So aren’t we able to have a hand in how awesome it turns out? Of course we are!
So what are the rules in a relationship? They are whatever you and your partner create together. What works for one couple may not work for another couple. Outside of our deal-breakers or lines in the sand, what rules are there to really even follow in a relationship? Who are we trying to mimic and look towards as our relationship role models?
Become your own role model by creating a mind-blowing relationship with your partner. Be certain your words and actions match and resonate with the kind of relationship you truly desire to have. Break the rule of mediocrity and settle for nothing less than amazing!
BS Rule #4: Gossiping, complaining and judging are just what people always do when they get together.
Complaining and gossiping are two of the most toxic rules people can follow. Why do we complain? Does it really make us feel better or does it actually foster negativity and continue to fuel our fire? When we complain we are merely seeking attention and finding another person who will take our side and validate how we are feeling. What if you realized people would still be empathetic and you don’t have to complain to get it? We can talk openly about how we are feeling without whining and complaining.
Ironically, most of us have or are currently going through similar scenarios and can relate to one another. We have two choices when it comes to something we don’t like; we change it if we can, or if we can't we accept it and change our attitude towards it.
If you are gossiping, you are most likely coming from a place of judgment. Are you proving to yourself or to others, that yes indeed you are better than someone else? Why do you feel the need to do that? What is your ego truly seeking? People mistakenly do this as a means of boosting their own ego or self-esteem.
When you are consistently comparing yourself to others you will ultimately find someone who is more successful than you and that has something you wish you had. With that discovery, your self-esteem and confidence will take a hit as now you feel you aren’t good enough. The best way to avoid this is to catch yourself and recognize when you are judging someone else.
Ask yourself this, “What impact does it have on me personally that their hair is purple, they have too many tattoos, they don’t know how to spend their money, that they aren’t as smart as I am, or that their partner is a complete ass? Bottom line, WHO CARES!?
BS Rule #5: Having a negative attitude makes no difference in what I get out of life, my life sucks anyway, so why care if it shows?
Understand your attitude is everything! The more you tell yourself how awful your life is, the more you will see just that. Even in your worst of days, take a moment and write out a list of gratitude. At times we tend to forget all we already are blessed with.
When you start paying attention to the great things in your life and what life has to offer, you open yourself up to a whole new view of your current world. You will begin to engage with more positive people, you are able to conquer and problem-solve resiliently, and ultimately begin to take notice things are starting to go your way!
Remember you are in control of you at all times, including your attitude. God didn’t create us to sit back in misery without any control or choices of how our lives are going to play out. It is up to you to decide what you want, and know it is your responsibility to Go Get It!
Brenda Slavin is a Coach and is the Creator of Elements of Your Life.
Her aspiration is to guide people through their personal challenges and lead them to creating the life they want and truly deserve.